i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
don't judge my taste in strippers
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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