if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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