Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Is it because I queefed?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
