new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
