Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize