glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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