So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
