dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize