Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
