Midget sex pt 2 tonight
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
