The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
