i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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