one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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