: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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