Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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