you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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