Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
