We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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