I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
