what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
