I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
