After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
