I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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