I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
