it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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