Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
