do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We talked him into tasing himself.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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