It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
