we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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