It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
