I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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