I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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