i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
