When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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