so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
