y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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