so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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