Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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