I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
