just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
