you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
