she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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