We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
