I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize