i just google imaged poop.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
