I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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