i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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