Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
