He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
