Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
