He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
