Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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