I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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