so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
