i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
