This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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