I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
