check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
