This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
