Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
