I have demons in me.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
