Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
