He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize