i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
