dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
