Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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