My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
