She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
