I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I need a beard to bite.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
