can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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