is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
