i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
