Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
