why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
