So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
